Real Hell
by Melfina-Pan
Summary: Poor, poor Vegeta. What a day I put him through.
1. I

Bulma had just finished making breakfast and proceeded to call Vegeta and Trunks to come eat. The house shook as Vegeta and Trunks rushed to the kitchen like a stampede. She put the food on the table and then ran off to the lab so she could work on her latest invention.  
  
Trunks watched as Vegeta scarffed down his food and moved quickly for seconds before his father got to them.  
  
"Uh, Dad?"  
  
"What do you want," said Vegeta talking with his mouth full.  
  
"You do remember what tomorrow is don't you?"  
  
"No, but I bet you're gonna tell me aren't you," said Vegeta as he pushed more food into his mouth.  
  
"It's mom's birthday."  
  
Vegeta immediately stopped eating and dropped his fork. He had forgotten Bulma's birthday! He remembered what happened last year when he forgot. Bulma wouldn't speak to him for a week, which actually wasn't all that bad, but she also made him sleep on the couch for that week and refused to cook for him or do other normal tasks that wives do. At first he thought, no big deal, he'll make Trunks pick up the slack, but that ended up being a mistake. He suffered the worst indignity when he sparred with Goku that week. Goku noticed the singed imprints of an iron all over Vegeta's training clothes and found it so amusing that he couldn't fight properly because he was too busy laughing. Not to mention the fact that Trunks made him look bad by making her a card in school and waiting on her hand and foot all day.  
  
"Oh great, I didn't get her anything."  
  
Trunks looked at him not too surprised that Vegeta forgot. He was prepared to offer his dad a back up plan.  
  
"Now don't you go making me look bad kid!"  
  
"Dad, I have a way that you can fix things."  
  
For once the brat had something interesting to say.  
  
"Well!"  
  
"I know exactly what she wants for her birthday."  
  
"Spill it boy."  
  
"She wants this."  
  
Trunks pulled out a newspaper clipping advertising a new designer black mini skirt, which was worn by one of those skinny models. Vegeta looked at the ad and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"She wants the woman?"  
  
"No dad, she wants the skirt that the woman is wearing."  
  
"A skirt?"  
  
"Yeah, you know, boys wear pants and girls wear skirts."  
  
"I know what a skirt is! Do you think I'm that ignorant?"  
  
"You don't really want me to answer that do you? Anyway, I think we should go get one."  
  
"If you think I'm taking you shopping, you better think again. I don't shop for women's clothing."  
  
"Well, that's a shame dad because I know where the store is. I guess you really liked that week where I had to do your laundry."  
  
Vegeta had a horrified look on his face.  
  
"I guess we're going shopping," he said talking through his teeth, "Go get dressed and meet me back here."  
  
Vegeta walked to the lab and told Bulma he was going to take Trunks to Goku's house. Then he walked upstairs to change into more human looking cloths. He found a decent looking blue shirt that fit snug to his torso and black casual pants. He put his shoes on and went into the kitchen where Trunks was waiting.  
  
"Your mother thinks we're going to Kakarot's house."  
  
"Okay, let's go."  
  
Vegeta suddenly felt familiar ki near by. Just as they opened the door, they found Goten and Goku on the doorstep.  
  
"Hey guys," said Goku with that cheerful tone that always made Vegeta sick.  
  
"Where are you going," asked Goten.  
  
"Hi Goten, we're going to get my mom a birthday present. You guys wanna come?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"We actually came by to ask if you guys wanted to shop for presents with us," Goku said (though everyone knows full well that Chi Chi forced him to go).  
  
"Who said they could come," said Vegeta as he eyed Goten and Goku.  
  
"Please dad?"  
  
"Please uncle Vegeta?"  
  
"What? Uncle Vegeta? Why do you keep calling me that?"  
  
"My dad says that I can call close family friends uncle or aunt."  
  
"Come on dad, please let them come."  
  
"Oh, fine," said Vegeta in a huff, "but I don't want any crap."  
  
"Okay," said both Trunks and Goten in unison.  
  
The four of them began to walk into the city. Goku had Goten on his shoulders and walked along bouncing his son up and down as he went. Trunks looked at Goku who then moved Goten to his right shoulder and then put Trunks on his left, which made Trunks very happy. Vegeta gave Goku a disapproving glare, but said nothing. Goku noticed that Vegeta was kinda mad so he decided to try and ease the tension.  
  
"So Vegeta, what are you going to get Bulma?"  
  
"I don't know, why don't you ask the boy," he said as he pointed at his son.  
  
"This is what mom wants," said Trunks handing Goku the piece of paper.  
  
"Whoa, Chi Chi wouldn't be caught dead in one of those," said Goku, "I guess it's alright though, Bulma's got the figure for it."  
  
Vegeta stopped walking for a moment. Goku, who didn't notice that Vegeta halted to a stop behind him, kept talking. The Saiyan Prince rewound Goku's last statement in his head. "Bulma's got the figure for it?" Goku finally realized that Vegeta stopped behind him.  
  
"Hey Vegeta, what are you doing back there?"  
  
"What did you just say about her Kakarot?"  
  
"What, I don't know, what did I say?"  
  
"You said, she's got the figure for it. What do you know about her figure?"  
  
"Oh, come on Vegeta, I didn't mean anything by it. It's not like I think she's pretty or anything."  
  
Vegeta clenched his fists and Goku realized he made a big mistake saying that.  
  
"He must think I'm mocking his choice of a wife," Goku thought to himself, "The last thing we need to do is get into a fight here."  
  
"So you don't think my mate is pretty?"  
  
"You know what I mean. I'm not attracted to her, I have Chi Chi."  
  
Vegeta smirked at that last part.  
  
"Oh yes, Chi Chi. You better keep an eye on her. I'm sure there's a line of men out the door waiting to whisk her away from you."  
  
Vegeta started to laugh and Goten started to get angry. Vegeta was making fun of his mother. Vegeta kept laughing.  
  
"That is if they can take being screamed at every five seconds," he continued laughing.  
  
"Hey Vegeta, that was uncalled for," said Goku in dismay.  
  
"Oh, come on Kakarot, I'm not saying she isn't nice looking, but I think the best nickname for her would be dragon woman."  
  
Vegeta was practically rolling and now Goku was starting to get mad. Trunks and Goten were still on his shoulders and Goku felt Goten's ki rise. The boy was becoming furious. Trunks noticed as well and tried to hold on to him, but as he heard his father laughing he decided to let Goten go and the enraged boy flew towards Vegeta before Goku could stop him. He flew up so quickly that he took Vegeta by surprise and punched him in the face which immediately silenced Vegeta'a laughter. Trunks smirked because he knew his father deserved it. Goten stood scowling while Vegeta rubbed his cheek, which was turning red from where the boy belted him.  
  
"Why you little brat!"  
  
Vegeta started to power up and Goten's eyes nearly popped out in fear. The boy flew back to his father and sat on his shoulder wrapping his arms around Goku's neck. Vegeta started to walk toward Goku.  
  
"Come here little punk, spend some quality time with uncle Vegeta."  
  
Goten was trembling a bit and began squeezing his father's neck tighter.  
  
"Okay Vegeta, you know that didn't hurt you, just leave him alone."  
  
"Well I suggest you keep him on a leash or something before he gets hurt," said Vegeta with a smirk.  
  
"You insulted his mother. Wouldn't you have done the same thing if someone insulted Bulma?  
  
Trunks was starting to get impatient.  
  
"Can we go now before mom finds out we're not at Goten's house."  
  
Goku and Vegeta started walking. Goku was relieved that nothing happened because they were on the outskirts of the city and people would have been scared stiff of four Super Saiyans fighting.  
  
"Mama is pretty and so is aunt Chi Chi, let's leave it at that."  
  
"You're right Trunks, it was a stupid fight," said Goku in agreement.  
  
Vegeta just rolled his eyes and mumbled to himself. They finally made it into the city and walked towards the store that had the skirt in the newspaper. Goku put Trunks down.  
  
"Hey that's the store your mother was talking about Goten. We'll meet you guys back here in a little bit okay? Then after that maybe we can get some lunch, I'm starving."  
  
"Okay see you later guys," said Trunks  
  
Vegeta just mumbled to himself again. He and his son walked closer to the store when Trunks noticed something was wrong. A bunch of people were screaming as a big bulky guy walked out of the store with a bunch of stuff in his arms.  
  
"Dad look, that guy just robbed the store," exclaimed Trunks.  
  
"Why should I care, I just want to go in, get that lousy skirt and get out."  
  
Just then Vegeta took a closer look at what the guy was holding. He took an inventory in his mind. There was assorted jewelry, a bag of cash, and electronics, along with some cloths, sweaters, jeans, a black mini skirt.  
  
"A black mini skirt!"  
  
"Dad, he's got mom's birthday present!"  
  
This wasn't good. If Vegeta came home empty handed that was it; it was no action and burned fighting outfits for a week.  
  
"Stay here kid, I'm gonna get your mother's present."  
  
Trunks smiled. That guy was gonna get it now. Vegeta calmly walked up to the low life and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Hey jumbo, I think you have something I want."  
  
The man looked at him and laughed. Because Vegeta was smaller, he was always underestimated, even by his smarter foes. This would usually prove to be their last and most costly mistake  
  
"Did I say something funny?"  
  
"You sure did little man, now step aside before you get hurt," said the man as he chuckled to himself."  
  
Vegeta didn't get too angry, which was highly uncharacteristic of him. He decided instead to have some fun with the guy before mashing him into a pulp.  
  
"Oh, well excuse me, by all means go."  
  
As the man walked by, Vegeta stuck his foot out and the guy tripped. He fell and dropped all of the stolen goods on the ground. Vegeta started to laugh and the guy got up.  
  
"That's it shorty, you just bought yourself a long stay at the hospital! I'm gonna make it so you can't eat solid food for a year!"  
  
"I doubt that," said Vegeta with a smirk.  
  
The guy was really pissed now.  
  
"This is stupid, I don't even have to power up to stop this weakling," said Vegeta in his head. "Come on tubbo, I'll even let you take the first shot." 


	2. II

Vegeta motioned for the guy to come as a crowd of people enclosed them. The guy smiled and walked up to Vegeta ready to pound him into next week, but he was in for a surprise. Goku and Goten joined Trunks in the crowd and watched the show. The robber swung as hard as he could at Vegeta hitting his face in almost the same place that Goten hit him earlier. The guy stood appalled when he realized that his punch had no affect on Vegeta. Vegeta started to laugh.  
  
"Is that all you've got lardo? Now it's my turn."  
  
Vegeta punched him in the stomach knocking the wind out of the guy. The thief fell to his knees and gasped for air. A bunch of kids cheered. "Wow cool," said one. "Totally awesome," said another. Vegeta was about to deliver a fatal blow to the guy, but Goku jumped out of the crowd and stopped him before he could.  
  
"Vegeta no!"  
  
"Must you always spoil my fun Kakarot?"  
  
"You know he's weaker than you. Just let him go to jail instead."  
  
"Fine," Vegeta said in a disappointed tone.  
  
He turned to the creep.  
  
"You're lucky he stopped me, otherwise I would have rearranged your entire anatomy," said Vegeta with a menacing smile.  
  
The police came and took the guy away.  
  
"Hey brats, take all that junk back into the store," said Vegeta.  
  
The boys did as they were told with Goku and Vegeta following them inside. The saleswoman shrieked when she saw Vegeta walk in and ran into the back. Meanwhile everyone stood at the counter waiting for someone to help them.  
  
"This is ridiculous, we've been standing here for ten minutes," said Vegeta who was beginning to loose patience.  
  
"I'll go find someone, I'm afraid if you do it they'll run out of the store screaming."  
  
Goku went into the back room and managed to coax a salesman to come out to the counter. The man gave a nervous chuckle as he looked at Vegeta.  
  
"C…Can I help you sir?"  
  
"I want to buy this."  
  
Vegeta tossed the skirt on the counter and the salesman rang it up.  
  
"That will be eighty-nine ninety-nine," said the salesman.  
  
"What! That's robbery, I won't pay it," yelled Vegeta.  
  
"Dad come on, it's for mom."  
  
"Then you pay for it boy."  
  
"I already spent all my allowance on my present to her," said Trunks in a frustrated tone.  
  
"Vegeta, imagine how happy Bulma would be if you bought that," Goku said, winking at Vegeta."  
  
Goten and Trunks didn't know what the wink was for so they just looked at each other and shrugged. Vegeta let out a heavy sigh and reached into his pocket pulling out the necessary funds.  
  
"Here's your money, thief."  
  
"Would you like me to gift wrap it sir?"  
  
"Huh? Yeah, why not."  
  
Vegeta took Bulma's present and then the group headed to the closest restaurant for lunch. As they walked they were followed by a bunch of kids who found Vegeta very fascinating after his display of strength.  
  
"Don't look now Vegeta, but I think you have some admirers," Goku said.  
  
Vegeta turned to face a huge group of kids."  
  
"What do they want," Vegeta asked, slightly agitated.  
  
"I guess they think you're really cool dad," said Trunks  
  
"What you just did kinda made you a hero Vegeta," said Goku with a smile.  
  
"Well, tell them to go away."  
  
"Awe come on Vegeta," Goku protested.  
  
Vegeta walked up to the kids and then powered up to Super Saiyan level one. At first the kids thought it was cool.  
  
"BOO," he yelled.  
  
This sent the kids scattering in a million different directions running in fear for their lives. Vegeta started to laugh uncontrollably.  
  
"That wasn't very nice Vegeta," said Goku  
  
"What do I care? You want to eat don't you Kakarot? Imagine how long you would have had to wait if I didn't scare them off."  
  
They stopped at a fast food restaurant and ordered the usual burger and fries deal. Goten and Trunks played with the toys that came with their meal.  
  
"I hope you plan on paying for your lunch Kakarot. I refuse to pay to fill the cavernous pit that you call a stomach."  
  
"You should be one to talk," said Goku smiling.  
  
After they finished eating they began their walk home. Goku carried Goten who was exhausted from the outing and fell asleep. Trunks was showing signs of getting tired so Vegeta actually let him sit on his shoulders. The two pairs of Saiyans went their separate ways and Vegeta neared the house. He saw his wife sitting outside enjoying the sun. Bulma was surprised to see Trunks and Vegeta together and then she saw the white bag that Vegeta was carrying and was excited.  
  
"Vegeta, there you are. Where have you two been and Trunks why are you so close to your father?"  
  
"We spent the day in the city with Goten and uncle Goku, mom," said Trunks before running into the house.  
  
"Really? Vegeta you actually were with Trunks and Goku all day?"  
  
Bulma couldn't mask the surprise in her voice. Vegeta just grunted. Bulma's attention quickly shifted to the box Vegeta was holing.  
  
"Is that my birthday present?"  
  
"No, I bought this for myself because you know how much I like to go shopping," said Vegeta sarcastically.  
  
"Can I open it now?"  
  
"Let me think, is today your birthday woman?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Well then no you can't"  
  
"Oh, come on Vegeta, I can't wait until tomorrow. I'm going to bother you until you let me."  
  
"Too late."  
  
"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase," she begged as she batted her eyelashes at him.  
  
"Fine, go ahead."  
  
She tore through the wrapping paper and opened the box to find the skirt that she hadn't gotten around to buying yet. She gasped and then looked at Vegeta.  
  
"I can't believe you got it! How did you know?  
  
"Well I…"  
  
Bulma cut him off in the middle of his sentence and began smothering him with kisses. After that Vegeta was completely dazed.  
  
"Thank you so much."  
  
She hugged him tightly and then turned and walked toward the house.  
  
"I'm going to make you the most incredible dinner imaginable."  
  
Vegeta stood outside the door thinking about what just happened.  
  
"All of that because of a skirt? Humans are so weird. I guess I should remember her birthday more often."  
  
He walked in and Bulma was preparing dinner. He noticed that she tried her new skirt on.  
  
"Kakarot was right," he thought to himself with a half smile, "she does have the figure for it."  
  
He stared at her for a little and then smiled again. He walked out of the kitchen and nearly collided with Trunks.  
  
"Watch out boy!"  
  
"Sorry dad."  
  
Vegeta went to his bedroom thinking about how family life might not be all that bad. Trunks gave his mother a pink sweater that he bought with his allowance and Bulma hugged him. As Trunks was on his way to his room Bulma called after him.  
  
"Thanks for reminding your father about my birthday sweetie."  
  
"No problem mom." 


End file.
